We have been TTC for a number of months however to no success. We were definitely getting to the point of “this is going to take longer than we first thought” stage where I feel you start to calm the (in my case) manic tracking. And as is always the case, as soon as you calm down, things start to happen.
On holiday in Fuerteventura I felt totally fine, not a single symptom of feeling pregnant. Sure I was bloated but I was eating carbs for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks… I was on holiday after all!
I did however begin to start craving cheese. Cheese in any form! Cheese sandwiches, cheese crisps, cheese pasta and just plain cheese. I am and always have been a huge cheese lover so again this wasn’t totally unheard of for me. Looking back it was and definitely still is my first serious craving.
Charlie and I did the classic of sort of knowing/thinking it could be a successful month for us but not wanting to jinx it by actually taking a test. I had cut out caffeine months ago for other reasons and we don’t tend to drink alcohol unless its an occasion, neither touching a drop on holiday. Therefore we both knew I was in a good place to ‘maybe’ be pregnant. Even if we weren’t going to confirm (jinx) it just yet.
A few days home from our holiday and my cheese inhaling continued, I did start to feel pretty exhausted and nauseous first thing in the morning and early evening as routine. I found the only thing which totally eased the feeling of vomming was to eat cheese, again in any form. Usually my cheese easing of choice was cheese puffs (Aldis own brand are the best) or cheese sandwiches.
I decided it was time to confirm that my cheese feasts weren’t totally over the top and in fact part of a bigger picture.
We decided to finally take a test. We had lots of negatives with the pricey clear blue week prediction ones. Instead we opted for a nice bargain Sainsbury’s own brand. We will be paying through our teethe for this kid for the rest of our lives, may as well save money early on… I literally wee’d on the test, lifted it up, and it was immediately a cross. Pretty pregnant if you ask me. Also far better than that awful 3 minute wait with the pricey ones where that timer spins round and round, torturing you with each turn. Obviously we were beyond happy, with that lovely mix of nerves.
Weeks 5 – 7
Cheese cravings have eased off a little. Still my fave food but less of a need for it. I feel like death warmed up for 90% of the day. All I want to do is lie in bed and binge on food and crap tv. I feel like I need to be sick… constantly but I haven’t been… not once!
Memories have come back of having this intense hunger from being pregnant with Ottilie. I tell Charlie it is like I am a bottomless pit.. it doesn’t matter how much food I put in I still feel like I need to eat more. I’m trying to eat better than I did first time round. I am being more conscious of getting those nutrients in as I know they will help with making me feel better and have more energy. This time round I am also continuing to exercise as I stopped with Ottilie and my fitness got to a low I never ever want to go back to. Obviously just gentle exercise but still keeping active.
My clothes don’t fit… I have no bump… just bloat and have put on about 10 stone according to how tight my clothes are! Obviously its too early to splash out on maternity bits. I am opting for the hairband around the jeans tactic already. I’ve read about 10000 blog posts about how you grow so much quicker with the second – they are all making me feel much better.
I knew I would find it harder with a toddler and that first trimester fog of tiredness. It has actually been better than I thought. Of course I am totally exhausted 90% of the day but the fact that Ottilie still naps means I do get the chance to nap with her on the days I am not working. I don’t do it everytime, even though I probably should. I just get a bit moody after a nap so don’t want to be a misery everyday… just most days..
Sickness has gone (for now!) Tiredness remains but better, or maybe Im just getting better at dealing with it. Clothes are still tight but I have *invested* in some cheap primark jeans in a size up so I can still remain non maternity. I am naturally going for baggier clothes which isn’t my usual look so hopefully once I get a bump I can start to wear nice flattering tops again rather than the tents.
This pregnancy seems to be absolutely flying. The weeks seem to be running away with us – in some ways its nice as I felt I was pregnant for years with Ottilie. But in others its sad as I want to cherish it JUST in case it is my last. Its getting to close to the scan now and I am dying to see our little splodge on the screen! We have finally moved into our new *family* home which feels amazing. The babies room is totally empty at the moment so I guess we are pretty excited for the next trimester when we begin nesting and beginning to get bits ready.
We had our booking appointment which was exciting, its the first “thing” you actually do to confirm it. After weeks of it just being us it felt weird to share it with a room of midwives.
I have felt totally un inspired to write anything on instagram or this blog – obviously I am writing this but it wont be published for weeks yet. Im lacking any drive to do or write which is weird and unlike me. I guess its the tiredness and fogginess. Bring on trimester 2 when I feel full of energy .. (JOKES!!)
Weeks 11 & 12
Goodbye trimester 1. WAHH!!
Starting to feel much more awake and have *some* motivation to do bits. I can feel my OCD creeping back in and my cleaning creeping up again. I am trying to relax a bit more about it but I know the steam mop is getting used far more than it needs to be. It got to a point where I couldn’t even walk to certain rooms in my previous pregnancy, just in case I marked the sparkling floor. I know its pretty impossible to go that far with this pregnancy seeing as I have a toddler in tow. But I also find myself cleaning once she is in bed rather than just relaxing like I should be.
I have no idea why I am so utterly terrified for this test. I have had this reoccurring nightmare for days that I get to the scan and they can’t find a baby. Obviously this wasn’t the case and I lay down, had my stomach squirted with the most freezing gel (why does it have to be that cold?!) and saw the first sight of our little bean. It was being all sorts of naughty in the scan and they couldn’t do all the tests or measurements. We got a very blurry picture of the bean because it obviously wouldn’t play ball. I have been booked in for some blood tests to try and get the results they are looking for instead.
Now its all starting to feel a lot more real. I think the scan does that, it makes it all suddenly very real. It was emotional to finally see the little thing that has been making me feel all sorts of funny for the last few months.
We still haven’t told a soul. It feels a bit mean keeping such nice news from everyone but I think we are both enjoying our own little secret. We haven’t really decided when to tell people but Im sure we will do it around week 13 or 14, or until I am intervened for my crazy weight gain/pregnancy bloat. I am smugly proud of how well we have done. Its been nice to enjoy the news before telling people and cherishing it. I have managed to stay ‘relatively’ social and kept the secret. I could think this and then we tell everyone and they say “oh yeah we already knew that”