Being a working Mum
and the struggles it brings…
I got promoted in my company around the day I found out I was pregnant. This timing made accepting the new job slightly awkward. I was as scared to tell my boss I was pregnant as I was my dad! My tactic was to be as open and honest from the beginning, which fortunately worked! I was extremely relieved to still be offered the job.
Learning a new role while counting down to the arrival of Ottilie made the whole process much quicker and far more enjoyable!
9 of the fastest months later and I was back at my desk for day 1 post baby at work. The day will probably haunt me for years to come! I couldn’t have been more upset or anxious to leave Ottilie and people who told me I would feel ready/excited were wrong.
I kept waiting for craving of ‘adult company’ and a long lunch break with a tea thats actually hot! Instead I was met with a wave of guilt for leaving Ottilie. This was also mixed with a constant battle in my head about the fact I was giving her to someone else to raise on the days I couldn’t.
We are incredibly lucky that my mum has Ottilie while I am at work, so it does make it easier knowing she is with family – plus she adores my mum and often doesn’t want to even come home!
Hopes for the future
I know It will get easier as she gets older. Having some independence from me is probably nice for Ottilie. This doesn’t take away the dread I have for those days at work, nor does it ease the pain when she learns something new in my absence.
For me, working isn’t an option or a luxury, its a necessity. I look at people who don’t ‘have’ to work with sheer envy! But then maybe if I didn’t have to – I may want to. The grass is always greener isn’t it?!
The thought of being a strong role model to my little warrior is a key to keeping me going on those hard days. One day I hope to make up for all the time I have missed. Working hard each week only gets me closer to that being an option. I guess the idea of having children young for me was that it would give me that much more time with them.
Heres to making the money we need to retire young and travel the world, family and all!
(clearly I am in a dreamland today!!)